Xerox

Given the fact that my emotions of the pensive where so well echoed by another completely unknown individual;

Would'nt it be true to say that for each person there always exists another person exactly same in emotional structure to the first?

Dumbledore's Pensive

I was just thinking about the pensive when I googled on it and found this on the net:

I am looking for a real world equivalent of Dumbledore's pensive.For those who don't read Harry Potter, it's a magical object that can be used to store memories. In Rowling's story, wizards can remove a thought from their mind, and keep it in storage. That leaves them with a clear, fresh mind to concentrate on more pressing matters.I could do with one of these right now. I have several important choices in lifestyle and career to make, whilst also facing some challenges in my current job. I find that my inability to block out thoughts from the larger decisions affects my concentration when working on lesser tasks. I am learning patience with my bigger challenges, as they have a relatively long cycle. But i would like to get on with other jobs while they unfold.I wonder if there are some mental techniques that could help. I am already using a diary, writing one or two entries a week. I do a healthy amount of exercise and am blessed with great friends who can listen and give counsel. It would be nice to have a magical pensive. But in the real world, I would be happy to settle for whatever mental exercise that would be recommended. In fact, I expect that the solution, if there is one, would involve a fair bit of effort and practice.

Logic

Is logic completely logical ?

Isnt being logical so illogical ?

I was told ... everything does'nt have a logic.

I said NO.

I still struggle to say YES. Waiting for the day .. waiting till I understand .. waiting till I learn .. or waiting till I logically decide that logic is not always logical.

And I thought you were mine ....

Definition of misconception ..

And I thought you were always mine.


The little hope, the little smile, the little laugh, the little tear, the little love, the little hatred, the little sun, the little moon .........

And I thought I had all.

Placements

Those expectant eyes .. those red ears ... those beating hearts .. those polished shoes .. those shining ties ...

All split into 2 worlds ..

Tears of joy .. screams of pleasure .. jump of excitement

OR

Cry of dissapointment, groans of sadness, tears of sadness


Who decides who goes to which world .. Apparently me ... But just apparently ..
I wish I could add names in the final list ...add all those who appeared and expected ..

But its that minute which decides .. the minute no one can comprehend .. yet just feel ..

The End of The World

Escaping from things ... escaping from reality ... doesnt it so happen that sometimes u r in the middle of some mess ... and there is a thought that I dont belong to this world ..


Im just a visitor ... I dont know these people ... there are just here for some time .. I have a world of my own somewhere where things happen according to my wishes ... there is no trouble .. I get what I desire ....


But lo and behold .. this is the only life I have .... that also for 60-80 years ...

Brings me back to the question ... WHY AM I HERE ???

There is no answer to me yet ... but yes there is one escape route ... PLEASURE AND HAPPINESS .....

Someone plz find some more meaning in life ....

A Casual Relationship

A Casual Relationship

I just finished watching Amercian Pie 2 and the rel of the guy and that gal Vik ... gave me thoughts

is a casual relationship possible with our kind of mindset
our here refering to the indian mindset ... admit it guys much as we may pretend to me westernised ...even i do ... somewhere in our hearts we are the conventional Indians who ahve the view that a casual fling is immoral and unjustified ...

I dont know ... really dont know
am i ready to accept a casual relationship

accept it then live it and then move on with it
much as I would like it ... it sounds tough ...

But movies like American Pie give me a hope that all this is normal and the way we live is a screwed version of life ... onw idout sex and drink ....

Th tussle is on .... and I want the self-ratification for everything casual ... coz life is there for enjoyment

The long road of life ...

My first poetic creation ... meant to be more philosophical than poetic ..

The Long Road of life ...

I walk it down all alone
you go ... go ahead
but do stop and turn back ..
coz the road has no end
only craziness .. and madness
the worlds madness ..
there to crush u exploit u harm u
but let confidence be ur greatest strength
but remember its overdose may become ur biggest weakness
do well
as i trudge the road slowly
all alone .. with tears in my eyes
tears not of sadness .. but just
shear emotion
i trudge down the road
the long empty road to success ..
but yes ill stop
stop when this quest for success takes my peace of mind
coz mental peace and happiness
is the ultimate goal of my life ......


On a lighter note ... if u don find this poetic consider it as an art of modern poetry .. you know the one which just has free verse and doesn't have to rhyme ...

coz it sure makes a hell lotta sense !!!

Raising a child ....

raising a child ... building a house ... nursing a dream ... all to make it a reality ...

And you have a nightmare ...
The child falls .. the house collapses ... the dream is shattered ... slowly yet steadily .....knocking the wind out of you

The worst of all is that you do not have enouh strength to stop the falling ... its there its inadverent ..

What does one think ... try and stop it ... or look ahead in life ....
is there anything to stop or ois it already shattered ...

does looking ahead mean giving up .. or a clever compromise

i see the doom as a give up ... the doom which will create havoc and will destroy the house .......................

Questions about love ...

What is love ....????????

Is it lust ? Or more appropriately ... is it just lust?

Can there be love without lust and lust without love ?

Does love mean a long term committment ? Or just a friend who you think is more than a friend?

Is the feeling of being in love more important than the feeling of love itself ?

Can love be manufactured ... can it be created ...
If not then how do arrange marriages survive ?

And if yes ... why cant we love the person we like ... the person we would like to love ...?

Can love overcome ego ... is it good to actually overcome ego ... the feeling of self ...
Does it mean .. the dissolution of the self and the thoughts
or on the other hand
does it mean a union of 2 thoughts

is it UNDERSTANDING or COMPROMISE?

what happens when expectations are not fulfilled ... who is at fault ... the one having higher expectations or the one not fulfilling them

are girls really more romantic in a relationship ... and are guys really more physical ?

why do u need to love ... for sex ... or for company ....
company is the obvious answer ... yes but is that really true ...
then why love 1 person for a lifetime ....
chage partners .. get diff company and diff sex ..

how does marriage change things ??.... why does the roseiness of a relationship reduce after gettin married ...

is love a committment or a bond ?
is love shackles of confinement or a belt of security ?
is loving less imporatant than being loved ?
is love transitional or permanent ?

does love mean keeping the other person happy or keeping youseld happy ...THE ANSWER IS NOT BOTH

Can you forget a love ?
Can you grow out of your love ?
And if you forget or grow out ... then was it love or lust ?


these are some questions you must have answers for if u think you are in love ...
and if u feel u r falling in love ... then try and ans them urself ...
Best of luck ... cheers
also in case u get some wisdom please do share it with me ...

Enough of the USA

as nearly 2 and a half months of my stay in the us end ... what is my reaction ...

enough of the us ... bas yaar bahut ho gaya

ab to mein bore ho gaya ....have had enough of the usa ....enough materialism .. enough sightseeing ... enough ac ....enough french fries ... enough deep neck tops .. enough bare legs ... though i can still take more of the last 2 things ...[;)]

the mad rat race here in the usa .. polite people .. yes .. good morning .. good evening ... have a good day ... how are u doing today ...

yes all this is there ...makes u feel gud ... that people are polite and helpful ... but only to an extent .. after that it is all .. help your self ...

highly materialistic ... highly busy ..u mail a person sitting right next to you .. instead of talking ..

well that is the usa ...

what do i miss here .. living wid my mama's family was definetely gud ... mama mami 2 cute cousins ..but i still miss my family .. boley to gharwaaley [;)]

i miss indian food .. the shahi paneer .. moms kofta ... moms dosa .. all that eating out at kl(iit hostel cafe)..... family lunch of chilli paneer and zeera aloo at sip n bite ... mezaban ka chilli potato ... and wot not

i miss the feel of india .. yes hot , dirty ... but yes that was India ...

comin back soon ... its 12 days to HOME SWEET HOME

A good job

the best question ..... for all those of us in college ... and those not in college ...

WHAT EXACTLY IS A GOOD JOB ???

first of all the inspiraton for this post .... i went to orlando, florida this weekend .... i stayed over at a friend from iit ... mayank ... who btw cooks excellent poha ... he'll have a lucky wife ...
now where does he stay .. with another indian ... who is doin a job there in the us ... nicknamed dadu ... very sweet and helpful .. he drove 30 miles just to pick up us ...

anyways comin back to the point ....excuse my diverging nature ...

what sparked this conversation ... we were a group of 4 friends me , mayank, shahsank , and ankit all comin back from disneyworld ....in a high spirit ....after a great day at the parks ...

all happy in the USA ... with their interns though ... not the country as such ... all except one ...

who had fallen in love with the country also ...

that is wot started the discussion ... 3 of us agreed that foreign countries are a great place to vacation ... but the 3 of us wanted to work and settle in India ..

that is when one friend said that he had decided to work and settle in the states ...
quite obviously we asked him why ?????

his ans was quite staright and simple

I WANT A GOOD JOB

our obvious response was that u get good jobs in india also ... and u have mnc's and everything ... though on a lighter vein u dont have strip clubs and topless beaches ...

lol ... btw i went to south beach miami .. which is topless...


anyways comin back to the point

his ans was the best job is one which gives the maximum money ....
IS MONEY EVERYTHING ???????

his ans was yes ...
we tried expalining him ... but i guess he was in a very immature state ... one in which i was abt 4 yrs ago ... when i had the notion that money is everything ..

but ive matured .... my mom was very thankful for that ...

money isnt everything ... peace of mind , happiness , satisfaction and time ..... are things that money can not buy ....

and these are things widout which there wuld be no life ...

i hope he realizes this before its too late ... else its a mad rat race

India v/s America

Again read somewhere on orkut:


An Indian is having his breakfast (coffee, croissants, bread, butterAnd jam) when an American man; chewing gum, sits down next to him.
The Indian ignores the American who, nevertheless, starts aconversation.American: "You Indians eat the whole bread?"
Indian (coolly): "Of course."American: (after blowing a huge bubble)"We don't. In America, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container,recycle it,transform them into croissants and sell them to India."
The American has a smirk on his face.The Indian munches on... gives a cold look but did not reply.The American refuses to take the cue and persists: "Do you eat jelly with the bread??"Indian: "Of Course."
American: (cracking his gum between his teeth and chuckling). "We don't. In America we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels,seeds,and left overs in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell the jam to India."

The Indian puts his coffee mug down...looks straight in the American's eye and then asks: "Do you have sex in America?"
American: "Why of course we do", the American says with a big smirk.Indian: "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"
American: "We throw them away, of course."Indian: "We don't. In India, we put them in a container, recycle them,melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to America!!!

Who do i blog for ?

as a newcomer in the world of bloggig ... this question has been in my mind from the very moment I thought after reading the blogs of anshul and anand .. both of which were special in there own wayz ....this was again raised by another of my lately found chat frnds .... when I told her that I must right somethin spicy now ... after all that introspective stuff .... she had asked me ... That means u rite for ppl?
well lemme try and answer these questions .. which are probaly the toughest ... as questions asked to oneself are the most tough to answer ... for the simple reason that u cant lie to urself ....another reason why introspection is the most important self analysis
'a public diary' (kudos to phoenix !!!) is probably the best phrase to describe a blog ... now why do we need a public diary .... is it a public display of emotions ...?
earlier when i first heard of blogs ... sopecifically when my BSP rep kejri had told me to write an article on that ... i was like wot ??why shuld one put ones life in public preview ....
well my own answer to that is its not puttin ur life under public perview ... it is another way of introspectin wid the ppl as an audience ...an audience wid an opinion ... an opinion which may not be rite necessarily ... but all the same will lead to some fruitful arguments and discussions ...blogging is a beautiful platform to let loose ur inner desires .. ur wishes ... ur fears ... ur apprehensions
that also ans the question over the statement ....
plz comment it encourages me
a blog widout readers wuld just become a private diary ... loosing the benefits of all ur thoughts ...a platform for discussion widout discussion ....
and last of all I have 2 very selfish motives for blogging
1. Improve my english ... i wanna.... no sorry want to be catting 2. Increase my typing speed

An eye match

I boarded the metro for union station washington dc ... or should i say i boarded the eyes of that beautiful girl in the green dress ...I sat down on the seat ... my eyes sat down in hers ... sitting opposite me but quite far away ... let us say on the coach was this damsel wid blonde hair .. and beautiful green eyes ... wearing a polka dotted skirt ... which unfortunately was quite upto the kness ..
p.s. the average skirt length in the usa in summers is the miniskirt ... so a skirt upto the knees is a quite long skirt ..

At first our eyes just grazed pass each other .. but that was not enough .. I decided to be naughty .. I continuosly stared into her eyes wid a smug expression .. an expression which meant that I know you'll look the other way ...However I realized that this is not India where the bhartai nari is supposed to be sharmele ...lol ... excuse me girls who consider themselves to be very modern and forwardlooking yet still look away when a guy stares at u ...

Hence I was in for a tough eye match with neither side in the mood for relenting .. eyes did look the other way .. but only for a galnce .. again to stare at each other ...

a strange kind of enjoyment filled me ... to flirt wid sum1 totally unknown in a strange land .. that too without a word...i thought of a one night stand ... however my mind promptly reminded me of my committments ... and after all the journey and the anticipation of the reward is much more important than the reward itself !!!
I was reeling in such thoughts when ...


the climax .. her winning streak .. SHE WINKED !!! ... it wasnt just CHECK it was straight CHECKMATE !

She winked and I lost ... firstly coz I wasnt sure that she actually did it .. so I didnt wink back .. and secondly coz by the time I realised it when I saw her laughing it was too late ... quite dissapointed I gladly realised that my station had come .. quite surprusingly I also saw her getting up ...decided that it was my chance to get back I let her go ahead of me ... up the escalator ...
the escalator was abt a 5min journey ... (im not exaggerating ...its really long here )...

and during those 5 min my eyes were constantly on her.... she turned and caught my eye ... and quickly got away .... she got the message ..U WON BUT THAT DOESNT MEAN IM LOST

and then in those thoughts of that girl in the green dress I boarded the bus for home ...

topics ....

thought ill just jot down topics on which i wish to write .. just a reminder to myself

why blog ... for whom
racism .. the blacks
sex and morality
men and women ... HUM TUM
love and lust


thats it for the moment ... lets see

Just saw on a website...

Just saw on a youth hostel website(USA) with mixed dorms:

Couples must book seperate beds.

Also there was a twin mixed dorm ... lol ... nice concept huh!

The older generation ..

what i write now esentially is an introspection into our relationship ...here our refers to ppl of my age group .. with the older generation ... more specifically grandparents

so first the prologue ... why this post

i dont know abt others .. but atleast i feel it is so difficult to stay wid ones grandparents .... and here when i say stay .. i mean for a longer durationof time ...

this question also is linked with a more traditional question of indian society ... joint family or nuclear family

given the prologue .. now the case

we've all seen and sympathised in so many hindi movies when a young couple wants to move out of the family home and the parents are pained ...

we all think that we'll never abandon r parents at any stage in life ..

we also think that we'll take gr8 care of them ...

but in reality ... lets see the situation wid r grandpaents ...
there are times when u critcisize ur parents for actions towads ur garndparents ... hope im not being confusin ....
they r times when u wish that ur grandparents were'nt there at taht particular moment and they wouldnt spoil ur programme ...
this can be seen in the lite of a smaal event like just eatin out ... where usually grand parents dont wanna eat out

its a big issue indeed ... and one of the greatest weaknesses of old age is i guess that old ppl become rigid

RIGIDITY IN ANY SPHERE OF LIFE ANY TIME EVEN IF SUPPORTED BY VALID LOGIC IS THE GREATEST WEAKNESS A PERSON CAN HAVE ....

this is one great truth i have learnt in the past few dayz ... even if u r right yet u r rigid .... u r the looser in the long run ...

Introspection – All About Life

this is something i had written in my about me after my first year after an academically disappointing second semester.

The winds of misfortune, the tides of frustration ,the storms of disaster all go against the unsheltered, harm the unharmed, torcher the untorchered.....all test your patience and perseverance ... such is life ... IS THIS LIFE ???
What is the very aim of life ... the meaning of existence ... the use of this life span..................?

I’m in search of this universal truth ...searching ... searching for some kind of solace …some kind of peace of mind... some kind of aim in life.

But I believe in searching with a smile...with optimism….. with hope …. with love.... with light ... in my heart so as to be happy ... but is my happiness the only thing.... its all a matter of questions.... unanswered questions.... answers of which I’m yet searching .....

People come and go in our lives. And then we think how genuine was our relationship with the person. More fundamentally a doubt comes that how genuine was the person ... his laughter... his comments... his actions.

Hence I am at a stage now where people around me are having changes in attitude ... actually they always have changes but now im realizing them and thinking about them. Hence it is a quest to find out the reality of a person who you think is your friend.... but this quest is a near impossible one coz human nature is highly complex.......

I never say life sucks...
It is just at some times that you loose the direction of living and then you sit back and think … again think about the purpose of our life... our existence…
People who say life sucks ...have seen yet nothing in life to pass such an obscure decision.
50 years down the line- say it and ill believe you.

Till then the magic lies in rediscovering yourself... your potentials...your capabilities... your shortcomings
And with these shortcomings and potentials you have to make the most of your lives … keeping yourself and all around you happy … cause till we come to any certain answers there is only this feeling of high that happiness gives us which gives us the purpose of living life…

so much to think ... a thought in this unthinking world

there is so much to think ... so much to wonder... in all those free moments one gets out of life .... and some not so free ones ...

the not so free ones first .... the times when u r supposed to work like now ... yeh u just feel like wondering ... thinking abt just anything ...but man being a selfish creature only thinks abt himself ... and even if u do abt others ... only in the same selfish way ... in a way that gives u pleasure ..

Wot does one do of this thought ? Call it day-dreaming ?? or just future planning ? there is no ans .. only qns
qns very fundamental in nature ... qns abt life ... qns abt love ... not questioning the existence of either ... just the relevance of both ...

there are many such qns but i shall ponder over them later ..

filaal abt thoughts ... the ones in the free time?
do u think in ur free time? and also wot do u think ... abt the girl/guy who passed by .. or the indian cricket match ... or abt wots cooking ... like i do lol...
or more deeper qns
this is one time i feel that u must think ... as i beleive introspection and self analysis is the most weakness or strength a person can have ?
talking of self analysis my class 10 teacher had once said that my greatest strength was self analysis ....
but is self analysis enough ?
wit it must come self improvement and self control ... which i endeavour too build ....

with this endeavour .... good day

Finally started...

so finally im blogging .... guess i felt the need of it since a long time
there is so much to say
not to nyone else though ... but to myself ... a recollection of the past ... or shuld i say reminences of the past ... thoughts abt the present and ... plans of the future

I just hope i have ppl to read this .... not coz i want u to know wot i think .... but coz i want to know what u think abt wot i think ....

time for some credits too
my first thanx to sum1 special who has always been motivating me to write ... next to the art of living guy ... whose strip club blog really got me kinky ...lol and last to the the bhabhi man ... to whose blog i wrote a really ong comment...